Apostle Paul's Thorn

Some mornings I don't feel worthy to walk for Christ. A Christian pilgrim's reflection on Paul's thorn, hiding behind rocks, and a God who says, "Come into the game."

NOTES

Trace Pirtle

2 min read

a cactus in the desert with a cloudy sky in the background

Most days, I'm ready for my walk with Jesus. I look forward to His "Divine Appointments" along the narrow path. I'm typically like the player on the sideline who says, "Send me in coach...I'm ready!" But not this morning.

This morning was different. I wasn't "feeling the Light." I wasn't feeling like meeting people on the path. I just wanted to walk alone.

Like walking in the desert, the distance between me and the "Son" on the horizon was too great. I felt like hiding behind a rock. That's how unworthy I felt as an ambassador of Christ.

So, I intentionally selected a walking route with "no people." I thought it better to stay away from people than to reflect Jesus in a negative way.

I've seen believers who wear the cross, attend church every Sunday, and then project "stay away from me" the rest of the week. I didn't want to leave anyone with that impression of a "Christian."

I started the walk fine--my memory verses kept my mind focused and away from my feelings of inferiority. But the typical "warm fuzzy" feelings transformed into the "cold pricklies" like a good dream turned bad.

My mind and my heart were aligned, but not with God. I was too focused on the problems of the world, the cares of this life. One ache here, another pain there. Each converging to separate me from Him.

And then an image came to mind of the Apostle Paul. If Jesus is the Light, Paul clearly shone Jesus' Light. But we know that Paul suffered his own thorn(s) in life. I'm not sure what it was, but it doesn't appear that God took it from him. God used him, thorns and all.

We also know that Paul made his share of mistakes, even when he didn't want to. All of a sudden, my perspective and feelings began to realign with the Holy Spirit, who was patiently awaiting my return to spiritual sanity.

I felt more encouraged. Sometimes perfection sets the bar too high, especially when we are on the floor. Sometimes God sees us on the floor, or hiding behind a rock, and says, "Come into the game!" He isn't expecting perfection, but He does require commitment.

At that moment, I said yes to God. The realignment returned. And as you would expect, the path was no longer deserted. A young woman and her German Shepherd were approaching.

Time to shine His Light!

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